THIS MARRIAGE THING

My views on the whole Toke Makinwa saga.  There has been a lot of raucous about the book "on becoming Toke" First let me start with my views on Toke. The first time I ever noticed her was in 2011 in her interview with VicO. A friend of mine is obsessed with her so I was more interested in VicO than I was in her. Over the years noticed she was rather superficial with changing accents. I'm like of the typical Nigerian OAPs. Then noticed her attitude. I'm like this girl is rather dramatic with histrionic personality traits. I'm a psychiatrist, labeling people is my job and that was the end of it with her.  One day I heard her story of how her parents died in a fire. For the first time I was impressed with her. As a shrink, she has predisposing risk factors for a whole lot of mental illnesses. In an American movie, they start this story of how a child lost his/her folks. Then 20 years later we see if it's a boy he is a serial killer/ addict/ in jail. A gi

This is an old post of mine on Facebook. I'll just post it here as a way to kick things off. These are my views on marriage. This is my take on my generation on this thing called marriage. First of all let me digress and say my view on my generation. We are a selfish and self centred generation. I'm talking of the generation of people that are in their thirties. It's all about me. I can't blame us. Most of us have very few dependents. We finished school. Got jobs. I'm talking of people that finished uni between 2000-2006. The relatively lucky ones. The era of the new generation banks, communication industries. These jobs paid well. Then we earned big money. Got good pay, era of bank loans. We were relatively comfortable. Our parents still worked. We had free accommodation, free food, we were not training anyone. So my money is my money. We got out of school young, 21-23. Who wants to marry at that age. 😒. So we live life. Party hard. Pop champagne. Travel the w

This thing called marriage I have been procrastinating about this for while. My way of life. First of all, introduction. I'm a shrink and married mother of two. Been married for over nine years now with my fair share of stories and drama about marriage. This blog is meant to serve as a platform for women to be free to open up and speak about things they face in marriage. This isn't a religious group, nor a help group per se but just an open space to vent and be anonymous if you please. The African culture teaches us to be silent as women. Whatever you are dealing with in marriage. Hush, don't let others know. They are probably going through worse and are "packaging" themselves. If your husband cheats, you don't mention it to people. Cover it up and pray. If he hits you, pray harder. Sometimes to remain sane, you need to let your voice be heard. The time for shaming the woman in a bad relationship or marriage is over. No marriage is perfect. That's th