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A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE ON INFIDELITY

A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE ON INFIDELITY

Hello, So I have been accused of not being fair in my sample collection. I have also been accused of being “pro-decent women”, being a feminist in my blog and not asking the males what goes on in their mind. I took the initiative to then go and ask a couple of regular “omo boys” about their perspective on fidelity/infidelity.
O.G is a single, working class guy who is less than 30, I know him a bit and know his ways. After reading my last post, I asked him what his thoughts on it were and why the trend is changing.
Me: Hey, so what’s your thoughts on this whole body count thing?
O.G: I don’t know. It doesn’t really bother me.
Me: So why guys unfaithful generally?
O.G: Now, that’s rather unfair. You are generalizing everyone. I’m a good guy.
Me: Right, I know of at least 6 of your escapades and I don’t monitor you, so tell that to your girls.
O.G: The truth is women will never understand. I guess we are built differently. I’m not trying to sound vulgar but ther…
Recent posts

KARMA IS ON SABBATICAL!!!!

WHEN THE ‘ABNORMAL’ BECOMES NORMAL, KARMA GOES ON SABBATICAL

So I have been meaning to write this post but I kept shelving it because “it seemed a bit judgmental”. However, a few recent social media events made me share this.
A few days back, the best girls were hanging together and one of them causally mentioned how Karma seems to be on leave. She asked if we noticed that “the bad girls” that we were warned not to be like growing up seem to be the norm of the day. It seems that “being a decent girl” is a bit outdated and doesn’t earn you the golden prize after all. She said she was talking to a colleague who hinted that the body count of girls between the ages of 23-25 were as much as 50-70. I laughed at the exaggeration, she also felt the same. He, however broke it down for her. The average young girl now, borrowing a phrase from my colleague has an early consensual sexual initiation, usually at about 15-16, if not earlier (I shudder at the thought of this).
These young-lings g…

WHY DO MEN CHEAT ON LOYAL WOMEN?

WHY DO MEN CHEAT?

I apologize for being MIA. Writer’s block and I got swamped with plenty things. Some days I believe I need a personal assistant. Sigh.
This post is a result of an article I read while on Facebook, you know them random links that have other links, you somehow click on? Yeah, those ones. After rolling my eyes. I sha clicked on it.
The view was rather “different”, hence the reason for the post, to discuss the matter.
So the writer tries to answer the age old question on why men who cheat on loyal women. He wrote and I quote: “How a male treats a woman is NOT a reflection of HER worth; nor is it a reflection on anything she LACKS or is not doing. An overly macho, mentally weak, sensitive-minded male knows he does not DESERVE a strong minded woman. In his mind, he thinks one day she will mentally awaken to the realization she deserves better than him & leave him. This is why males cheat on a woman, to have POWER over her. He cheats on her to boost his ego. He goes on to s…

THE NEED FOR VALIDATION

The need for validation 

A major problem with our generation, The generation X is the need for validation. 
What is this validation thing?  It’s getting feedback from others that “what I do and what I say matters to you. You hear me. You see me. You think of me. You thank me. You acknowledge my accomplishments. You appreciate my efforts.”  With this generation. You see me!! You acknowledge my accomplishments, you hear me are our major killers especially since the advent of social media. We flaunt what we don't have or can't afford ourselves. You see people who can't justify their income splurging wealth on frivolous things, just so the world sees and acknowledges their person. People with shady sources of wealth being out there, so you can think of them and strive to be like them. Why? Just for validation. But ask yourself, Sleeping with that funky, pot bellied old man just for a Gucci bag so you can join the "pepper them gang", "does it really worth it"?…

IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS: DEFINING HAPPINESS

In pursuit of happiness: Defining happiness! 

So I'm a self-acclaimed life coach! Sue me if you don't think so!  I have a few friends I "intervene" in their lives, even if they don't need or solicit my advice.  So I have this friend who I call a spend thrift. Our conversations usually go this way.  Oga: Aunty! I just saw this TV and I need to buy it.  Me: need or want.  Oga: whatever.  Me: what happened to your old tv. You rarely watch it na. It's even a smart TV so you can't claim it's old model. Oga: The old one will go into my room.  Me: what's the price  Oga: lol! You will scream if I tell you. Oya o!! Don't shout o!  Then he goes on to tell me a ridiculous price. Then I scream and start preaching about vanity and learning the differences between needs and wants. 
This dance, we do with a new wristwatch, perfume, money spent on whatever. 
Recently we had a sit down and I had to ask him. I'm like what's really going on. You are spen…

DEALING WITH DELAYS

DEALING WITH DELAYS IN MARRIAGE

So sorry for the long hiatus!! Had exams and I'm not an expert at multitasking when it comes to exams. I let it take over my life! Sigh!
So back to my blogging and regular life!!! Whoop!! Life feels so easy when you don't have an exam close by! 
Today I talk about delays in marriage! Delays can occur as regards having kids, getting a job or in anything but I focus on having kids.
One of the major issues people have in marriages is dealing with delays as regards having children especially in our African society. 
Most people have a timeline which usually goes like this: when I get married, I will wait 1-2 years, then have kids. This is for most of us who marry early. The expectation to this when you marry late (definition of this varies, my late might not be your late). The older ones (the 'rents) start batting their eyelids after 6 months and they see no symptoms of pregnancy even when you tell them you want to wait. I'm sure you must ha…

MAKE IT COUNT

This is a guest writer's post. 

We have lost a lot of people recently. Just a few weeks ago, my colleague asked for permission to leave work and by the end of the day, he was dead, 2 weeks ago, a young man died coming from a wedding, a friend lost her husband this week. This made me very aware of my mortality (not like I wasn't aware of it before) but it makes it very real. It also got me thinking ..... is it all worth it?
 What is life really all about? Is it all about the needs? The hate or the constant pressure to be liked and accepted in this life? Or is it about the need to be validated or seen as the baddest that liveth?
When do we start focusing on ourselves, focusing on making a difference, touching lives and making people remember us for our good deeds no matter how small.  We really don't we know how much time we have left... we are all on borrowed time ... 
Let's mend all the fences, life is too short to sweat the small stuff, all of it would not matter in a…